Because Proper Story Structure Is Boring
by NinjaGogeta
Summary: Because in a world where magic exists, robots have souls, and Jack Rakan is a thing, clearly a stupidly overpowered character who doesn't give two shakes of an Ermine's tail about the fourth wall or the plot is needed. Crackfic, not to be taken seriously. Like, at all. VERY overpowered Naruko.
1. Chapter 1

Konoemon Konoe wasn't sure what he was expecting to happen today. When he woke up, with his trombone shaped sleeping cap on, he pondered on the possibilities that the day would bring. Maybe the Narutaki twins would try another prank (they haven't tried anything since the hungry tiger he found in his pigeon hole) or maybe his konosetsu fanfic would receive some reviews (he was surprised the pairing had such a huge following, considering this was real life and whatnot) or maybe, just maybe, Takamichi would finally admit that he was being sponsored by Marlboro.

With these possibilities hovering in his mind, Konoemon happily jumped onto the bus and made his way to Mahora Academy, where he happened to be the Principal. On the way he waved to the students who he knew would bother to return it, and flipping off those who were a bit arsey. He was the Principal, so anything goes. Arriving at his office, he discovered that yes; the Narutaki twins had indeed tried a prank, but fortunately for him his secretary had sprung it. He made a note that he should tell the girls not to use sulphuric acid balloons again- Ofsted would have a fit! He made another note to get a new secretary.

Entering his office he happened upon a large box, sitting on his desk. Of course, it wasn't actually sitting, as that would imply it had a backside. So, to be more accurate, it was placed on his desk. Hurray for appropriate wording. Approaching his desk, and sub sequentially the box, he noticed a small note tacked on to the side. It read; _Dear Konoemon, happy birthday, an old friend_. Konoemon was pleasantly surprised, as well as more than a little confused. After all, it wasn't even his birthday! Or was it? He was so old, he wasn't sure.

Casting his mind back over the years- a large task, as he had lived a jolly long time- he tried to guess just who could have sent him this present. Could it possibly be Steve, the Indonesian Hairdresser he met in 1984? Or perchance it was Serras, the twelfth cousin, seven times removed of Princess Arika, who he met on a skiing holiday? No, no, it couldn't possibly be them. After all, Serras was illiterate- and thus incapable of writing a note- and Steve believed that gift giving was part of the Capitalist system of control, which he wanted no part in. No, he had a feeling that he would have to cast his memory back even further than that.

Was it maybe his babysitter, who was world renown for looking after 234 children, all but one of which would end up in the circus after the severe mental scarring that came with being sat on. Konoemon was the only one of those children who went on to have a somewhat successful life; well, apart from the horrible head deformation that plagued him, even to this day. Well, how else do you think 233 people ALL ended up in the circus? But no, again, it couldn't be her, because she died of Backstory Disease a long time ago, which while sad, did help child number one-hundred-and-seventy-four have an interesting if not tragic life.

Konoemon had the urge to stop thinking about who delivered the box, because the writer is getting bored of this bit. So, without a further thought he reached into his drawer, pulled out his trusty spatula, and got to work on opening the box. In seconds, he had the lid off, and from within the box emerged someone who he had not seen in a long time.

"Konoemon you old bastard!" Was the cry that was released as a blonde female jumped out of the box "I've been in that box for ages; do you have any idea how boring it is going through customs? In a box?"

"I can't imagine it's all that much better than standing in the customs line." Konoemon responded, before he realised just who was in the box. "Naruko! It's been too long!" Yes, in the box just so happened to be a gender bent version of Naruto Uzumaki, the titular character of the popular- if not severely plot confused- manga and anime, Naruto. However, going into any further detail will most likely destroy the very fabric of space and time as we know it, so let's not think any further about it, ok? Seriously, if a single review mentions it, the universe will implode. The blonde girl smiled widely, and playfully punched the old man on the shoulder.

"Yep, that's me! Super badass and wonderfully overpowered Queen of all things awesome, at your service!" Konoemon sweatdropped, because he is an anime character and is prone to doing so. However, he ignored her introduction, and decided to be borin- I mean, serious.

"What could the Kyuubi no Kitsune possibly be doing in my mail?" Konoemon asked, in a horribly lazy and contrite way of revealing Naruko's status, completely ruining any possibility of mystery as to Naruko's origins. But, luckily for Konoemon, they was still stuff left to reveal, so he didn't fuck everything over. It was then that Konoemon realised that Naruko, was in fact, sitting on the ceiling. Yet, despite this fact, her hair (that will not be described as to confuse the reader as they try to picture Naruko, and because the writer is a lazy bastard) was not adhering to the rules of gravity. Naruko shrugged and fell from the ceiling, landing in a hand stand, and since half of this crossover is an Akamatsu manga, giving Konoemon a view of her panties. Curious, as she was wearing trousers.

"I was bored and couldn't be bothered to go through a really complicated and overthought backstory that would realistically wind me up where the plot happens." Really, the writer is a lazy fucker. With a small hop, the girl- who was the Kyuubi, in case that wasn't clear already or you happened to forget- sat on Konoemon's desk. And yes, she was sat, as she had a bottom. With a yawn she picked up some of his paperwork and flicked through it. "Wow, you got boring in your old age." She whistled as she leafed through the pages. "This probably isn't important." She said, pulling out a page and lighting it on fire through a power that could be explained, but really wont. In fact, it doesn't really matter, as it probably won't be used again. The document which Naruko deemed, unimportant, was in fact the transfer papers for a poor boy that had ended up in Yokai Academy. Sadly for him he would remain the sole human in a school for monsters. But then again, he will be surrounded by breasts someday, so maybe it was a lucky break for the boring, wimpy character. Again, Konoemon had decided to be boring, so he pressed his earlier question.

"Why are you here, Naruko? And after so many years that won't be confirmed because it would get complicated." Naruko sighed and threw the rest of the papers over her shoulders. Borinoemon winced, as he knew that without his secretary, he would be cleaning that up.

"Are you a Digimon? Because that would make perfect sense, what with your head being all screwy." Konoemon knew that he would have to take a different approach, so he took a deep breath and tried again.

"Naruko, you're not here for any particular reason, are you?" Naruko shook her head.

"Nope. I just thought I'd insert myself into a story which already has too many characters and try to fit myself in." Konoemon nodded.

"Would you like to be an assistant teacher?"

"Pfft, no screw that. That sounds like I'd actually have to do shit. I may be bored from years of being alive, but I'm not that bored." Ah, it made sense now. As the Kyuubi no Kitsune, it could be assumed that Naruko lived for a very long time, and it is only common sense to think that an immortal would grow bored. Hell, just look at Evangeline, who had grown bored of living at Mahora by day three. Oh yes, day one wasn't so bad, but by day three she had already finished her whole library of video games, and for several years after that suffered terrible boredom, to the point where she went crazy and tried to swim up the school walls. Thankfully for her, all memory of that event was wiped from anyone who saw it, so mentioning it is incredibly pointless. "Oi, stop going off on a stupid tangent and listen to me!" Ah, sorry Naruko, bad habit.

"How about being a student then?"

"Er, that sounds even worse! Can't I do something else?" Naruko suggested. She had always liked the idea of being the head of a disciplinary squad and beating up delinquents and innocents indiscriminately. Oh wait, Takahata Naruto did it first, so if she did it, she would instantly be a copycat and would be flamed like she was a Spy on Team Fortress 2. "Got any convenient spare jobs on offer?" Konoemon hummed in thought, and approached his desk. As he ruffled through some papers, Naruko mentioned something she just noticed. "Doesn't the writing seem to have mellowed out a bit on the random side?"

"Yes, because conversations are boring." Konoemon absently answered, and Naruko's mouth made an 'O' shape in understanding. After a few seconds of hurried shuffling (because he knew if he took too long Naruko would find some way to entertain herself, which, best case scenario, would end up with his office catching fire) he found a job form and presented it to her. With a raised brow she took the paper from his hands and looked it over.

"P.E. Teacher?" The idea intrigued her. It could be fun; torturing children through physical exercise and listening to them complain about it, while she merely laughs and brushed it off like any true anime/manga teacher tends to do. The idea really, truly did appeal to her. Plus she could enjoy the view; what? To an ancient being like Naruko, age differences will occur no matter how old the other person is. Of course, children under 14 were off the market, but as an anime/manga/fanficiton character, she was apparently let off from any legal problems that could occur from ogling middle schoolgirls. Lolis are a maybe, if they are immortal; but that is a very, very big maybe. "Alright, I'll take it. But if it gets too boring them I'm gonna bounce." Konoemon laughed and sat down in his chair.

"But of course."

"Will I get paid?"

"What would you possibly do with money?" Naruko looked offended, and she placed her hand in her chest in outrage.

"I say, are you being discriminative?! I'll have you know that we ancient chakra constructs have as much rights to equal pay as any flesh and blood creature does! I should tell the union!" Konoemon paled, before stopping in thought.

"You have a union?"

"Oh yeah; It was B's idea after he decided to become a rap star, and he was discriminated against for being an ancient chakra construct! So he made a union!" Konoemon blinked.

"So, he wasn't discriminated against for being…"

"What?"

"You know…a bad rapper."

"Huh…that actually might be it. NO! THAT MAKES SENSE! NOOOOO!" At the terrible notion of something making sense, Naruko ran from the room in fright. Konoemon was left with a Naruko sized hole in the wall, papers littered all over the room, and a signed job application form on his desk. After staring at the state of his office for a while, the man shrugged and clicked his fingers. With a small spell, his office was conveniently back in perfect order.

Magic's great like that, isn't it.

"What happened here?" Damn it! Who ruined the perfect set up for the end of the chapter? As it turns out, it was none other than Takamichi, who strolled in through the hole in the wall. Apparently that was unaffected by the spell, probably because of some complicated flaw in the spell that doesn't affect plaster and bricks- or it could be because the writer is so stupid that he forgot something that he wrote literally seconds beforehand.

"An old friend stopped by; she'll be the new P.E. teacher." Takamichi blinked, before shrugging.

"Ok." The two stayed in awkward silence for a moment, before Takamichi shrugged and walked out. "Bye."

Now didn't that add just oh so much to the story?

Well, apart from an extra 110 words, making this chapter over 2000 words long, then no, not really.


	2. Chapter 2

**Something I forgot to mention last chapter- imagine the narrator's voice to be like the narrator in the Stanley Parable. Trust me, it makes everything 50% better.**

Naruko was ashamed with herself. In fact, she was quite disgusted. After reading the last chapter, she noticed that she had been far too mellow- Konoemon had been more interesting than she was, and he isn't even the main character. Was he? Glancing up, she reaffirmed that she was in fact in the character tag, and Konoemon was not. With her short-lived suspicions put to rest Naruko continued walking in a non-descript location in an untold direction with a clear heart.

In her wondering she found herself pondering the reality of the TV show Friends. Don't get her wrong, she knew it wasn't real life but she did always wonder whether or not it was filmed in front of a live studio audience. Think about it, you barely ever see at least one wall in any room, and most of the time outside looks a bit fakey. If this was in fact the case, it makes the laughing in the background 80% less obnoxious.

She stopped, and placed a finger to her cheek in thought. Now that she really thought about it, she was very interested. "Hey," She said, looking up into the sky, "Narrator." Oh, is Naruko talking to me? Why, she did that last chapter; does she have no consideration for the fourth wall at all? "You did read the description right?" Naruko deadpanned. Of course I have read the description; in fact, I was at least 50% of the force that was behind the creation and conception of the very summary of which you speak. On a related not, that previous sentence might imply severe problems with the writer's mentality. "Oi, you're going off on one again!" Ah sorry, bad habit. Anyway, I, as the Narrator, wonder what it is Naruko could possibly want. "Ask NinGo to look that Friends thing up; I wanna know." I must say Naruko, this is all so terribly uncouth and oh so very against pretty much all rules of writing. "Pfft, fuck da popo, who cares about that." Well you have me there. Very well, I shall ask NinjaGogeta to look up the Friends thing.

…

…

Well, what would you know. Friends was in fact filmed in front of a live studio audience. Quite honestly, I've suspected as much for years. "Awesome." And with that, Naruko continued on her way.

Meanwhile, a certain crow hanyou was observing the blonde with a suspicious and highly guarded glare. This was, as you have hopefully guessed, Setsuna Sakurazaki and not in fact Kuroumaru, who has not even been born yet, so of course it couldn't be him. Honestly, as a fan of Negima- which I shall assume you are- I would think you would know this. Come on now, reader, get it together. Before this, Setsuna had been on the way to her homeroom to start her academic day. Every day, Setsuna would get out of bed and get ready for school. Once she was done, she would go to school. Once she was at school, she would sit in class and covertly observe her charge, Konoka Konoe who was in fact Konoemon's granddaughter. Setsuna took her job very seriously ever since as a child, she failed to save Konoka from a very dastardly river. This incident has caused years of angst and self-loathing, all of which create a wonderful backstory to go along with a great character. However, at the moment she has yet to go through her character development, so she was in fact quite boring and miserable. Perhaps, a certain chakra being could aid her in being a little less boring.

Setsuna was watching Naruko and trying to decide whether or not the blonde of an unspecified age was a threat to her Ojou-sama. Setsuna blushed for reasons that she did not understand; I suppose that would be my fault. Let me reiterate that. Ahem; Setsuna was watching Naruko and trying to decide whether or not the blond of an unspecified age was a threat to Konoka-Ojou-sama. The blush died down, and Setsuna felt the vague illusion that she was at peace.

Setsuna was a very well trained warrior, who had a knack for sensing powerful opponents. Well either that or the writer wants to make Setsuna interact with Naruko in a very easy and completely unplanned interaction that does not require much thought to manufacture. Setsuna pondered on what to do about the blonde of an unspecified age, and a few plans of action came to mind. Her first option was approaching Naruko and confronting her, demanding to know just what she was doing here. But that was not the hanyou's favourite option. After all, she was in fact a sensible person, and confronting the woman would possibly lead to repercussions on her part.

After all, she could be a guest of the principal, merely here to chat with him. Or she could be a foreign delegate of some kind who will be offended if Setsuna went over to her and demanded to know what she was doing here. Or perchance she could be instantly and easily overpowered in a way to show just how powerful Naruko actually is; of course, at this point in the story that wouldn't be all that difficult to do. Many more factors and possibilities came to Setsuna's mind, but the writer is too lazy to say any more.

No, Setsuna decided that she would leave the blonde alone for now, and confer with Mana Tatsumiya about how to deal with her. After all, she was sure that Mana would care…as long as she is paid to do so.

Sorry about that; the writer was distracted after seeing the images of Mana displayed by Google after he did a quick search to confirm the spelling of her surname. Surely, he is a pervert. Where was I? Oh yes; Setsuna was happy to have come to her conclusion and decided that she would now go to class; who knows what could happen to Ojou-sama if she left her unsupervised in their class! Why, the very thought sent shivers down her spine. However, while Setsuna was satisfied, Naruko was at her breaking point, having grown sick of waiting for Setsuna's bit to finish.

"Hey, what's up?" Naruko asked, cutting me off and preventing me from making an appropriate segue into a conversation with Setsuna. Setsuna jumped in surprise and span on her feet, coming face to face with the blonde. Letting out a shout that sounded suspiciously like a bird cry, Setsuna peddled backwards, her eyes wide with shock.

"WHA-BU-EH?!" Setsuna clutched the fabric over her heart, drawing in deep breaths to try and calm down the rapid beating of her heart. After the most vital of organs calmed down in its frantic pumping, Setsuna lowered her hand and eyed Naruko up. Of course, she doesn't know Naruko's name, but since I, as the Narrator do, Naruko's name will in fact be used when people- not just Setsuna- look or think about Naruko even if they don't know her name. It's simpler that way. "Who are you?" Setsuna couldn't help but ask.

"I'm the new P.E. teacher pancakes." Setsuna blinked.

Pause.

She blinked again.

Pause.

"I-I'm sorry?" Setsuna's face had scrunched up in a manner that showed that she was very confused. Either not noticing or not caring Naruko repeated herself.

"I'm the new P.E. teacher, and I want some pancakes. Ciao!" Setsuna watched as she left, completely and utterly baffled from the small conversation that she had just partaken in. Perhaps, the entire thing was just a hallucination caused from sleep deprivation. She had been doing a lot of patrols lately. Yes, that must be what it was. So, putting the strange hallucination she had just experienced into the depths of her subconscious Setsuna carried on her way to class.

Naruko sat on the side of a wall, eating her pancakes with gusto. What wall you ask? Why, does it matter? Are you that sad and pedantic about details that you just simply must know just what wall Naruko is sitting on? What's that, you are? Oh fine then, if you insist. It was a brick wall. Are you happy now? If not, I don't care. In any case, Naruko was enjoying her pancakes- they had a slight hint of lemon flavour to them, as I'm positive you'd like to know- and as far as she was concerned there was no better breakfast to be had on a day like today. Unless they were Ramen panck-

"Nah, that'd be gross." Naruko stuck her tongue out, trying to remove the disgusting image of soggy pancakes covered in noodles out of her mind. "Bleh, now my appetite is ruined." And with a casual toss, Naruko proceeded to chuck the pancakes over her shoulder and off the wall.

Takamichi would later wake up in the infirmary, finding out that much to his embarrassment he had been knocked out once he whiffed the ever so slight aroma of lemon on the pancake which had landed smack dab on his face. His until now unknown allergy to lemon immediately came into play, and he was out quicker than you could say "contrived cameo".

"Hey, wasn't I meant to be doing something?" Naruko wondered aloud to herself- "No I'm asking you dick wad." Sigh, we've been through this Naruko, you cannot talk to me for I am merely the narrator. It is my job to tell the readers everything you do in excruciating detail in order to extend the length of the chapter so that it looks as if NinjaGogeta is actually making some sort of progress in one of his fan fictions. "Pfft, yeah that'll be the day. He hasn't uploaded Seat Number 32 in like, what, two months? What an asshole. It ain't like he's been doing anything important." Well Naruko, in our esteemed writers defence, he was busy with University. "Pfft, excuses excuses." Can we please get the story back on track? The readers wish to know what will happen next! "Answer my damn question then!" Oh fine then. If you insist on being that pig headed than I will have to be the bigger man and drop the matter so that progress can be made.

Naruko, after her very petty display of her complete and utter lack of any shred of decency in regards to littering, suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be teaching her class. "Oh shit yeah, that." Naruko brought her hand to her head, extended a couple of fingers, and proceeded to move them up and down on her crown in a scratching motion. She then recalled her run-in with the young Setsuna. "Bet ya' a muffin she's gayer than rainbows." If not for my infinite wisdom I would take Naruko up on that bet- or if I were actually a character in this fan fiction that she is actually able to interact with. "Ah well, it's only my first day." I'm unsure of your logic there, Naruko. "Go suck a weaboo."

Meanwhile

"Negi, what the heck are you doing here?!" Asuna Kagurazaka yelled in utter shock once she saw her roommate and homeroom teacher in the clutches of the most terrifying villains in all of Negima. The high school girls.

"W-Well, I'm substituting for the P.E. teacher because they aren't here."

"Pancakes." All noise stopped as everyone present turned to look at a blank faced Setsuna. The poor girl looked as if she had had a terrible relapse.

"What?"

"She said she was getting pancakes." With her piece said Setsuna walked over to the wall and rested her forehead against her knees, rocking back and forth gently.

Anyway, after that stuff happened, hijinks ensued, they won the dodgeball game and Negi stripped several underage girls.

"I feel like I've missed out on something grand…"


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the message that fanfiction readers dread the most, second only to the one announcing a writer is quitting fanfiction all together.

That's right, I'm officially going on hiatus.

I started writing because I had fun doing it, and if I couldn't read the stories I wanted to see, I wanted to write them myself. And aside from a few times, I'm not really having that much fun writing right now.

I would like to attribute the main reason for me not updating much to being busy with University, but as the last two years have shown even when I do have time off I very rarely do anything with it. That's not to say that University doesn't have something to do with it though, as it does.

University takes up a lot of time and energy. Hell last week I had to do a presentation in front of a class about an experimental film idea, and that was pretty nerve wracking. I have an essay due for Tuesday and I have interviews to help organise and shoot for at least next week for a video, reconstructions to film for said video. I also have to make my experimental film, and there's another essay due in a couple of months. Not to mention the people I have to work with frustrate me a lot, including a 20 year old man/child in man form, who actually kicked me in the leg because I told him to calm down over something that the nut case seriously blew out of proportion.

There's also the fact that I almost kinda have writers block. I have it not in the sense that I don't know what to write, rather I actually can't be bothered to write it, like the next chapter of Seat Number 32 for example. Add in the fact that I can't give you guy's new chapters to read is actually making me hate myself for my inability to be bothered to do much writing, which doesn't help matters.

I love writing. I love coming up with story ideas and seeing them come to fruition. But right now I'm really struggling to get my act together to write with all this crap going on in my personal life.

So, I've decided to take an official break from writing to focus on my University work, and to just be able to relax for a bit without the looming pressure of updating. I usually never want to make an author's note about hiatuses as I've always assumed they've kind of been implied due to the absence of content. But this is for my own sake as I feel that making an official statement will take away the pressure of updating.

I have two weeks coming up after next week for the Easter break, which is usually when I'd promise to get something done, but I've made such promises before and it never actually meant anything. So, let me just get it out there that I most likely won't update anything for a few months, and even if some kind of spark ignites that gets me to write a full chapter it doesn't mean that I'm out of my hiatus.

I hope that by the time I finish with University for this year in about 2 months that I will be able to get more writing done in the summer break- which is an insanely long 6 months. But, again, I won't make any promises.

So, apologies for the hiatus, and apologies for being so naff because I honestly feel that all of you deserve better. My readers have always been super supportive of me and it's thanks to you guys that I've kept writing for this long, even if my update rate is sporadic as all hell.

Until next time, you beautiful people!


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